a state of limbo

i'm desperate for it.

there is a part of me that has always enjoyed being unsettled, that as if some part of my teenage years has made me find comfort in residing on shaky ground. like there is some kind of security in uncertainty.

it is a fair assumption to presume that the majority of the human race find their comfort in stability and routine. there are only a small minority that can quite happily live in a nomadic state, fleeting from place to place, finding home amongst the spiritual, the non-material. i like to think that i am one of those minority, but in reality that is hardly the case. i haven't experienced it in the way i dream of. i have never jumped in a car, filled with my belongings, and just followed the road with no clear destination in mind. one day i hope that i can do so - what a freeing experience that will be.

tim and i have been discussing travel recently (to be fair, travel is a constant conversation topic between us) and the places we want to see next. it changes weekly. one minute, i want to drop everything and go to thailand, bali, vietnam, cambodia, and pop in and see samantha heather in australia on the way. the next minute, we are planning our adventures through europe; paris, london, vienna, the greek islands, and everything in between.

our hearts and minds are in a constant state of limbo.
we are constantly caught between our wanderlust and the harshness of reality.

with tim now working in the travel industry, the intensity of our wanderlust has amplified. every day, he gets home from work with another place to add to our list. realistically, it will be at least another year and a half until we can pack up our things and say good bye to new zealand once again.

is it wrong that this saddens me so much?
whilst my identity will always be found in new zealand, my heart is in a permanent state of longing to be elsewhere.

i want to breathe in the icelandic air, feel the sand of cancun between my toes, and swim through the waterfalls of hawai'i.

i understand that in time, these things will happen, but i feel like i'm ready now. i want it badly - so badly that i often forget to appreciate the goodness that i have around me here and now. the stability and whole-hearted love that my brother, my sister-in-law and my gorgeous baby niece provide me. timothy joseph lord gonzales, and his constant and unfailing love and care. the incredible friends that i am so blessed to have, and the safety and privilege i have to live in this peaceful country.

i am thankful.
it would be shameful, selfish and greedy if i weren't.

i am thankful for this state of limbo, and for what it provides me.
so very, very, thankful.

it's been a while

a collection of photos i took at the ness wedding, 17.11.2014

call me the worst blogger ever... it's nearly been a month since my last post.
amidst the craziness of the festive season (which is well and truly here now), we've holidayed up north, attended the wedding of two of our favourites - dan & anna, met the newest member of our family, i've started full time work, and together we've been crazily editing video footage for the wedding video we are hoping to be putting the finishing touches on soon.

it has been an exhausting three weeks, in the best possible way. so much love, happiness, laughter, and joy has been shared amongst new and old friends and i've had daily reminders that this is what life is all about. community. friends that are family, and family that are best friends.

i am so excited for the next few months. the parties are continuing, the late night dancing isn't stopping, and there is much more cider to be drunk. games of backyard cricket will be played, the bbq's will become a daily occurrence, and listening to fat freddy's drop on repeat (always always always the best soundtrack for summer).

there's something so magical about summer, and the way that the warmer nights can bring people together in the best way possible.

whats your favourite thing about the changing of seasons?

The tables are turning

as of late, tim has begun learning the ways of the camera. 
naturally, he has been demanding that i be his model.
i guess its only fair that i comply (and try to keep the grizzling to a minimum), considering i've been the one ordering him around over the last three years, and he hasn't complained nearly as much as i have. ;-)

we are heading to auckland and tauranga in a few days, and i can't help but think that getting away for a while is going to be so refreshing. also, it will (hopefully) be hot up there, and i can start working on that summer tan and enjoying all the heat that dunedin hardly ever gets (yay for living at the bottom of the southern hemisphere!...) 

we are also filming a wedding while we are up there (am i super nervous, or super excited??!!! i can't decide...) so that'll be posted at some stage! it's our first wedding, so fingers crossed that we can produce something as beautiful and precious as we are hoping for.

does anyone have any tips for videography - either in general, or in a wedding environment?
accepting any tips and advice we can get!

catching up

this last week has been so hectic.
as of friday, i have officially finished with study for the year, so I've spent the entire morning today lazing in bed, watching youtube, catching up on my neglected bloglovin' feed (89 posts - my bad!), getting up to date with all the antics of summer bay through old home and away episodes, and not feeling guilty for procrastinating from study - its the best feeling!

as i'm writing this, i'm looking out my window at the grey skies and watching the rain fall and i can't think of anywhere else i'd rather be right now. i'm tucked up in bed, listening to the new t-swizz album and drinking a freshly made berry-bannana smoothie. living the life.

i have so many blog posts to catch up on, including two adventures with T, and a surprise hen's night! today is going to be spent editing photos, and spending the e n t i r e day in my pj's.
i deserve it after three weeks of intense study and exams, right?!

i'll be back to normal posting soon, promise

the month of october

READING - textbook after textbook. four days until my last exam will be done and dusted!
EATING - bagels. our love affair has been rekindled.
DRINKING - smoothies! currently: raspberry, mango, banana, orange, yoghurt. mmm.
WATCHING - thriller movies - forever my favourite!
FINISHING - the uni year (finally)
MASTERING - the art of finding a park at uni. one of the biggest struggles of my day.
LEARNING - the in's and out's of premiere pro. we're about to film a wedding!
WEARING - pj's on a daily basis. that's what study days are for, right?
COOKING - with timothy. dinners together are the best!
WORKING - on saving money to buy my dream camera. literally my daily struggle.
LISTENING - to taylor swift's new album. i mean, who isn't?!
PLANNING - our north island adventure that starts in just thirteen days!
FEELING - impatient. summer holidays can't come soon enough.
WANTING - it to be the 22nd of november already, our besties are getting married!

the tale of two wolves

one evening an elderly cherokee indian told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.

he said, "my son, the battle is between two 'wolves' inside us all.

one is evil. it is anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.

the other is good. it is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather:
"which wolf wins?"

the old cherokee simply replied, "the one you feed."

labour day

labour day. monday the twenty-seventh.
the skies were grey.
the rain was falling.

dunedin is known for its crazy weather... we get the whole 'four seasons in one day' thing more than we would like. yesterday was no exception, with sun and storm fighting together in a constant battle all day.

despite the weather, we didn't want to waste tim's day off, so we decided to jump in the car and drive out the peninsula - one of our favourite things to do together. i'm so glad we did, because the sights we saw were incredible. we took a right turn down a random gravel road that looked interesting and followed it until the very end. it took us about 30 minutes, and this is where we ended up. the sky turned from grey to blue, our phones lost reception, and the only sounds to be heard were the bleating of new lambs and the distant lull of waves hitting the shore.

hundreds of sheep, rolling green hills, clear skies, and untouched beaches.
we were standing in a postcard.

those that inspire - 03

01 // samantha from samanthaheather - this girl! gosh!  words can't begin to explain how precious i find this lady. my long lost twin from across the ditch - i'm so happy i stumbled across this beautiful lady's instagram a couple of months ago. sam is such a gifted writer whose words transport you to another place, and her photography talent can only be explained by looking at the evidence itself. from chats about our dream photography kits to conversations about our other halves, this girl is a dream of a friend. please, please, please follow the links and have a look at her work for yourselves. you won't be disappointed.
sam, you inspire me more with every single post.

photos sourced from @sambam and samanthaheatherblog

02 // mr & mrs globe trot - a husband and wife photography team, who spent the first six months of their marriage travelling the world and documenting it through their blog. these two have lived/are living out my dream - exploring as many corners of this world as possible, capturing what they see through their lens, and waking up to a new adventure every morning. their recent posts about banff, alberta (where my family live) have me itching to drop everything and go back there immediately!

photos sourced from mr&mrsglobetrot

03 // @thetessafrench and her husband @thejoefrench - a true and beautiful modern day love story, tessa and joe actually met through instagram! years later, they're now married and are rockin' the instagram world like no other! they are always taking photos of one another and make the rest of the world jealous with all the fun things they get up to together in little rock, arkansas. they've recently started their own business - the french adventures - and are now videoing weddings, which are truly i n c r e d i b l e.
i can only dream of having them fly to new zealand and videoing my wedding one day!

make sure to follow @thefrenchadventures to keep up to date with all their latest videos!

photos sourced from @thetessafrench

i'm going to try and post three new "inspirations" a week, in the hopes of sharing all the warm fuzzies that these creatives give me on a daily basis, and all the motivation that they provide me with to continue striving for the best in my photography.

if you feel like joining in, please let me know! 
i would love to follow along with you and see who inspires you!

to see my previous posts, click here

this country we live in

new zealand.
oh, how i take you for granted.
you and your shores of blue, your sands of white, your mountains of green.
i promise to never overlook your beauty again.

tim picked me up after work on sunday afternoon and within seconds of me jumping in the car, he told me our afternoon was sorted - we were going to go and buy milkshakes and go on an adventure. he truly knows how to make my heart happy.

music on the mind

Matt Corby (via)
01 // The Golden State - City & Colour
02 // Farther Along - Josh Garrels
03 // Miss America - James Blunt
04 // Resolution - Matt Corby
05 // Latch - Kodaline

this week has been all about old favourites for me. i'm in the middle of exam period, so the music that has been filling my days have been tunes that are easy-listeners, and ones that are effortless and relaxing - enough to keep my mind satisfied, but simple enough to blend into the background whilst i'm reading and studying things from land degradation to the cycling infrastructure surrounding the north east valley of dunedin (its as dry as it sounds, trust me!). sometimes it feels like my brain literally can not take in any more information, but after a quick hot drink break and a wee escape outside, i'm renewed and ready for yet another two hours stuck in the books.
the combination of coffee + fresh air have continuously been my saving grace.

what have you been listening to this week?
(all listed above have links attached)

little one

on monday evening, my brother and his wife became parents and brought the most beautiful baby girl into this world. she is perfect in every way, and as my brother said when he told me "she is the most beautiful thing this world could have ever created". 

our hearts are so overwhelmingly full. 
welcome to the family, little one.

those that inspire - 02

01 // @_kirstydawn - a fellow kiwi, and one heck of a talented photographer. i have only recently started following kirsty on instagram, but already her clean edits and minimalistic style have me in awe! she has a true gift for capturing landscapes, and her use of white space makes for dreamy images. if you don't already have new zealand at the top of your "must-see" list, then her photos will most definitely change that!

Photos sourced from @_kirstydawn

02 // @lindsey_e and @coreypruitt - these two! all the heart eyes, seriously! whenever i see a new post from either lindsey or corey, its the best thing ever. their photography is a constant inspiration, as is their love for one another. they just got engaged (today!!!) so i had to include their announcement photo - bottom right - which they posted on instagram.. cutest EVER!

photos sourced from @lindsey_e and @coreypruitt

03 // ella from nakedorange - serious style inspiration right here! ella writes one of my absolute favourite fashion blogs that i've ever stumbled across.. not only is she ridiculously beautiful, but the majority of the clothes she styles are thrifted pieces, or affordable items, and every single outfit post she blogs is right down my alley. her photos are always on point, and i just find her little corner of the internet to be such a hub of inspiration!
photos sourced from nakedorange

i'm going to try and post three new "inspirations" a week, in the hopes of sharing all the warm fuzzies that these creatives give me on a daily basis, and all the motivation that they provide me with to continue striving for the best in my photography.

if you feel like joining in, please let me know! 
i would love to follow along with you and see who inspires you!

to see my previous posts, click here
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